Once upon a time there was a girl who felt uncomfortable in her own skin. She couldn’t leave her house without a full face of makeup on, heels adorning her feet, and the known acceptance of her peers. That girl slowly melted away and, in a year’s time, I was able to understand exactly who I was.
Ringing in 2013, I had no idea what the year would hold for me. I expected it to be great, just like how everyone expects their new year to be around midnight on January first. Maybe it was the phone call that I received at the stroke of midnight from the boy I liked or maybe it was my first NYE party I had just arrived home from…whatever it was, I felt great about 2013.
Overall, I had a great year. I made many new friends, went to a conference that changed my life, became more active in a club (DECA) that is taking me places today, and I had a cute fling with that same boy who called me on New Year’s. The most important thing that happened was the realization of who I really am. Maybe it is the fact that I’m finally an upperclassman, but I feel a hell of a lot better being myself than ever before.
I just don’t care what people think or as my good ‘ole friend Miley would say, “I don’t give a fuck.” Because I really don’t. I don’t care about what people think anymore.
Looking back on 2013, I’ve finally begun to understand how this happened. How I went from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Below is my cocoon of facts.
I don’t need other’s approval. Ever.
Not one single person should feel that they ever need someone else’s approval for anything. This is YOUR life and YOUR body. Do whatever you want. I can confidently wear what I want without worrying what people think anymore because—you know what? THEY DON’T HAVE TO WEAR IT. So why in the hell should they judge?
I chucked beauty magazines.
I love beauty related stuff. I love Seventeen and Vogue. Know what’s in those magazines, though? Malnourished models. I was constantly flipping through pages filled with pictures of the “ideal” girl. I found myself tearing out the exercise portion of Seventeen to “lose 10 pounds” or “get the bikini body”. Those magazines are useless. If you really want beauty or fashion advice go online and check out real girls like HelloKatyxo or MacBarbie07. NOTE: I didn’t knowingly throw out my magazines. I simply didn’t have the time to read them anymore, but I noticed a huge difference in my self esteem after I quit flipping their pages. I also don’t plan on looking through one again.
I changed up my style.
For those of you that don’t know, I went from “drab” to “fab” this August by cutting bangs. Not only did they COMPLETELY change the way I look (for the better in my opinion) but I also enjoy flaunting them. It also took a lot of courage for me to cut something so short in my hair. The result was outstanding and I loveeeee my bangs!
I write in a diary…dare to call me nerdy.
I do love writing after all and the diary actually helps. I write in it a lot as well. I filled up one in 2013 and received a new one for Christmas. It helps to write about a specific thing so that you always have ideas or a reasons to write something down. Not only will it be great memorabilia for when I’m older, but it also helps relieve stress. A lot. I am also able to write down private feelings or thoughts that I feel like I can’t tell my friends (due to that really awesome thing called a rumor). So dare to call me nerdy.
I hang out with people that make me feel good.
Now don’t get me wrong, some of my friends love giving me a hard time and I, back. But I choose to hang out with people that I feel accepted with and avoid the people that start drama (specifically start drama by pretending to be your friend).
I gave up some of my pride.
A girl loves her pride. I chose to turn my pride level down just a tad though in 2013. This helped me to re-kindle an old friendship and be open to more things. Pride is not the most important thing, especially when rational decision making is concerned.
I did something daring…
For spirit week this past October, we had a “Rock Star Day” in which you could pull out your eighties-punk gear and bring your blow up guitars. I, however, decided to be a little creative and dress up as Miley Cyrus. MTV VMA’s Miley Cyrus to be exact. Complete with foam finger. Coming from a rather conservative town, I got some nasty stares and whispers that day but I didn’t care. I had fun (and a lot of photo opportunities). After all, I was the only person at my school to come dressed as Miley while they rest of the haterz would be decked out as her on Halloween.
I did things that made me feel good.
I began doing yoga and drinking more water. I ate less foods that left me feeling bloated and I quit overeating. Is this dieting? I don’t consider it dieting, I was just doing things that made me feel good. And since they made me feel good, I did them more and that creative a cycle of happiness and rainbows and cute boys.
I know I’m awesome.
There’s a difference in self-confidence and narcissism. And since I know for a fact that I care about other people and am not a total bitch, I can confidently say I am awesome. Being able to tell yourself that you’re awesome not only builds your confidence, but other people notice it too. Your personality will change and you will be 100x more confident with yourself.
I don’t think there’s an actual map you can purchase that helps you find yourself; it takes time. I went from a girl so self-conscious of herself that she wouldn’t talk to people (circa 2009) to a girl with confidence enough to do what she wants. It’s now 2014. It took five years, but it was definitely worth it.
So I bet you’re wondering why I included the selfies above, right? If you think I’m self-centered for putting pictures of myself on my blog, then you can get off of my blog. Most of you, though, probably get the idea by now. Those are two pictures from 2013 that I noticed the most confidence in. Big smile, bright eyes, a happy face. I am confident and I love my life. Those pictures prove it.
I hope you all enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Before I go, though, I will give you the pleasure of witnessing my Miley Cyrus moment.